when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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