I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize