I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
