brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
