Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I need a beard to bite.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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