Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
