So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
