I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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