Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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