I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
