Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
