And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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