Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Even my vagina gasped.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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