love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
