Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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