White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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