at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I came so hard my ears popped.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
