you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
