Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Green mimosas i think yes
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
