how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
