I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
false alarm, still single
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
