we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
