apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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