That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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