My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
