My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize
