ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
