I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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