HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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