I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize