im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
