Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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