So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
