Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
