i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just tell him i said nine months
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
handjob tips. give me some.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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