walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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