Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Boobs are out for the taking
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
