I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
