i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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