i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
