GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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