You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
