His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
