hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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