and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
