coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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