If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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