carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
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