He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
