i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
