Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
