just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
