I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize