am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize