Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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