I just made out with a guy for $7.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
